Before you start, you need to know what a sugar daddy is. Well, sugar daddies are rich older men who provide financial support to young sugar babies in exchange for companionship and sex. If you really want to be a successful sugar daddy, you need to be aware of the mistakes sugar daddies often make.
Yes, as a sugar daddy, your real blind spot is that you don't know what you're doing wrong. If you know you don't know something, you can work on it and make progress, just like any attempt to solve a problem. But if you don't know some of the mistakes you're making, you're just wandering around blissfully ignorant until it's too late. Of course, if you're lucky, it's too late for a heated conversation, or a protracted argument, rather than a complete breakup. But just in case, you'd better read on to be fully prepared.
1. Mistaking "Emotional" for "Crazy" Most sugar daddies don't understand sugar's emotional state and think "she's crazy." It's a masculine shorthand that goes from man to man, conveying that she is troubled, stressed, unable to be calm and overly emotional. This is the last particularly interesting part, because most of the time, "she's crazy" means: "she has feelings for things I don't understand or like."
Solution: if you find that your sugar baby reacts strongly to something (especially something you do) and your instinct is to think, "she's crazy," it's worth investigating whether her true feelings about things you don't fully understand are real, normal, and healthy. Instead of calling her crazy, ask her what's wrong. Men are taught to hide their emotions instead of really talking about them, but this is a terrible way to maintain healthy relationships. Be bold enough to take it seriously with her and you may eventually start to understand her.
2. Stay away from friends and family In a sugar relationship, you might just want to have sex with your sugar baby/date/watch a lot of TV/build a pillow fortress/etc. But the truth is, taking the time to nurture relationships isn't just about the two of you. Friends and family are also vital and essential to the long-term growth of your relationship. Not only that, but if you've been through a tough time, meeting the person closest to your sugar baby will let them know about you and your motivations.
Solution: once your relationship has passed its first few weeks and is still going well, it's time to get back to work, not only meeting and spending time with your sugar baby's friends and family, but also introducing them to your own. Throw a party, go out on a date, have dinner with their parents -- treat your relationship as something to show off, not something to hide. While some parents don't want their daughters to find an older man, sugar relationships have become more accepted over time, so you don't have to hide it. Furthermore, this attitude will let your sugar baby know that you care about them as a whole person, not just how they make you feel one-on-one.
3. Don't do emotional labor Do you know what the term "emotional labor" means? Seriously, it does happen in your relationship, and if you date a sugar baby, she's likely to do more. Simply put, emotional labor is all about making sure that the people you care about feel happy, safe, and cared for through your actions and words, and most sugar daddies never grew up with that kind of education, so if you're not great at it, it's not necessarily your fault.
Solution: first, read more about emotional labor. Depending on how familiar your sugar baby is with the concept, they may or may not know the word, but when one person puts in less emotional labor, the other usually feels it. The good news is, if you don't have a lot of emotional labor experience, you have no choice but to move up! Start asking your sugar baby harder, get to know them, consider their needs, and see what happens.
4. Incorrect use of the word "I love you" "I love you" is a catchy phrase, but it doesn't quite work in sugar relationships. Although it only has three words; Three syllables, eight letters. But it has enormous power. With this in mind, it is best to be careful how we use it, not to use it frivolously, and not to hide it and pretend that it cannot be said. "I love you" is not only an expression of affection, but also a commitment. What makes romantic love special is not only its strength, but also its durability and uniqueness. "I love you" means "I'll be here next month, and I'll be there for you when you need me." "I love you" means "you are the person I chose and your best friend is not attractive to me at all."
Solution: don't say "I love you" too soon! If you have strong feelings for someone who hasn't even dated yet, it's called infatuation. It's hard to tell the difference, so as a rule of thumb, unless you're really dating your sugar baby for a long time and you can't hide your feelings for her, don't tell. If you're dating, it varies from couple to couple, but a good rule of thumb is not to say so for the first few months of the relationship, and then quite regularly thereafter. "I really like you, really like you" is a good placeholder.
5. Micro cheating Lying in your bed at 2am, you see a picture of your ex-sugar baby and can't sleep, and you shamelessly flirt with someone on tinder. One of your female friends sent you a nude photo and you replied with a heart-shaped eye emoji. What happened? Is that a micro cheating! In this kind of behavior, you are constantly pushing the limits and breaking the boundaries of small moves, which is not technically cheating, but is clearly a spirit of cheating.
Solution: first, you should be honest with your sugar baby (as early as possible, not later) about what they think is ok and what isn't, and then don't push her boundaries. For most sugar daddies and babies, some level of flirting outside of the sugar relationship is normal and healthy, but if you flirt frequently without sugar baby's knowledge or consent, there's a problem. If you're willing to face the fact that your behavior is harmful, even if it hasn't hurt anyone yet, you should be able to eliminate it by talking frankly, doing some honest self-assessment, and setting boundaries.
Reaching a sugar relationship is simple. When both parties agree, they have a sugar relationship. But maintaining a sugar relationship is not so easy. When you decide to join the sugar daddy dating world, be aware of any of these mistakes, which can be fatal to any sugar relationship. Remember, to successfully date a sugar baby, you need to avoid these mistakes.
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